It’s 10am and those tears are fighting to come out and I’m holding them in so tightly. They’ve actually come early then expected, maybe this daughters tears will never dry up. Looking all around me, families celebrating Eid and being together and there’s me. I know it was my choice, live in denial and lies or find the real me that my creator had created. I will do what has being asked of me, I promised God, that is to spread the word of peace to everyone that comes my way and I will.
So those tears can stay at the back of my head for just now.
Treasure your daughters always as they are and will always be a blessing.
The subconscious can take control of your life, but you make sure that you put the mind back in play.
We survivors do fall down but when we get up, we get up fast and continue with the fight of survival. That pain in the back of your head, it’s there and you must work at it. There will be tears, you let them out and it’s not a sign of weakness! That heaviness doesn’t belong in this lifetime and you must release it. We will all make mistakes in our lives, it really doesn’t matter as long as you learn from them. You will open doors, that you wished you hadn’t but its ok to look, but you make sure you shut it straight back. But know that you’ve being back to see what was there, put that mind back in play and don’t let your subconscious take over.
I know a lot of you want to speak to me, not feeling too good and I will get better soon as I’m a survivor.
Hope your all being good without me, never let anyone take control of the space in your mind. I will be back giving my orders and making plans as there is dreams to be manifested.
Love Sara xxx
In life you will never stop growing and when you do, it will
be a short break as more lessons are being prepared to be sent your way. New teachings,
new souls and they come with lots of blessings. With each step that you take,
look out for that sprinkle of water on your face as you are being showered by
angels who will walk your path at your side. Feel that touch as they will be
holding onto your hand tight. Walk your path with love as every step that you
take will be blessed. But remember what you give out, you will get back. Give
out love, you will get love back. Give out hate that is what will come back
your way. The choice will always be yours. Life is too short, so live it well
and help as many people as you possibly can. If you can’t help, don’t judge
while others do the love and caring.
Have a lovely evening and tell yourself that you love “you”!
Sending lots of blessings to you all.
Love and Peace
She is a victim of child abuse, a daughter who’s voice was made silent in the name of family honour, a survivor and someone who has turned all the negative spirits that came into her life into positiveness. She is someone who has found inner peace by asking and searching for her questions and found that the answers were already within.
You can say, lots of people have being through this, why are you so special? All throughout her 20’s she had visits from guides from the spirit world who had conversations with her! One most amazing message that she received from an angel, her words to her ” love yourself ” she said them words and went. This angel appeared, her face was a tan colour and she spoke to those words.
She is someone who is in touch with her inner self, as that is where the soul resides and that travels back home. She can reach deep down and connect to the child within her! Her goal is to teach others, how they too can do this, as that is where all the answers lay.
What can she teach you?
She can guide you and help you find that lost child within. Show you that the questions that you ask, are already within you.
We should learn by each lesson sent our way, if it comes again, that lessons wasn’t learned or I need to really stop craving what will never be. But my heart must be getting stronger with time, as I had a fantastic sleep. Always look at what is in front of you, I’m looking at my two boys fighting over what to watch on TV. This is how my destiny was written, God took all my blood family away from me, as they had taught me the lessons that I had to take from them. But he made sure I had a family that I made to replace them all! My rock, that’s my husband who is my support and he will always stand next to me on this wonderful journey. My little boys, yes they drive me mad but they are my world and I will protect them forever. Then I have two sister in laws, who are more like sisters and they are the sisters that I lost. Then it’s you the world who are my strength and in time my love for you all has grown so big. I really love you all, truly I do.
Yesterday I learned a daughter is for life and not only for a short time. I’m sure you will all happily accept this daughter in your heart and then I can stop craving what will never ever happen, as it wasn’t written in my destiny to receive love from my blood family.
Have a nice day and stay blessed. I’m going to spend it with my lovely family and spoil them. Going to cook them a big feast.
Love and Peace
What do I say, but my gut, that signal from that angel was wrong and no phone call from my mum! Or was it another test to see how strong I really was? Got to stop hurting myself, start building that wall again and very high this time. So strong that no one in the world can knock it back down again. Not going to lie, but it hurts like mad that your own flesh can just dismiss you. But this time round I was strong and even if she did call, I wouldn’t have broken down like the last time. Yes, got tears at the back of my eyes but I’m proud of myself as they are still locked in. Don’t now what I’ve learned from this yet, maybe this is the time to stop craving what will never be. If your thinking have I forgiven, yes I have as it really wasn’t written in my destiny to receive love from my mother. No one can say that I didn’t try, I did, again and again. But I’m going to bring myself out from this sadness, this pain, memorise a happy time and focus on the future as it does look bright!
No one can say I’ve got no heart, it’s massive and full of love.
God made me a mother, so I wouldn’t crave my own and not only that, he made me the worlds mother.
I will deal with the whys tomorrow as at this precise time I have no idea. Actually there is a lot of whys spinning in my head, why did I call, why did I listen and why again, I should have learned by know.
But you know what Allah knows best, what ever was the plan I’m sure it will all come together.
My next dilemma will be when she passes away, it will happen and yes them tears have come. But I’m so lucky to have tears, as they are a blessing! Think I’m glad I’m by myself know, don’t want to upset anyone.
Just look after your daughters please? As they truly do have heaven under their feet.
Love and Peace
Need a hug really but I’m strong and will be fine. X
Incase you all wondering what’s the big deal in receiving a phone call from my mother! As most of you now my family have disowned me, because I found my lost voice and the last time I called my blood family I found out that there was more victims in India! I tried my best to find these girls but again family honour won I know they will be suffering, as I’ve being there!
But doing all of this, I went back to the very first step, depressed and all them whys. I will never understand why my family would choose family honour over my abusers. But I promise you all, I will talk to my mother, brothers and family but I will not break down. I will be strong for all the victims who have no voice as they need me.
But I will never understand why daughters always come second best. These abusers are free to hurt others and I am powerless to do anything. In time we will change all of this, our children are the future and all the little girls will not be second best.
To everyone who has no voice yet, I hope seen my strength encourages you to stand up for the little child in you. Don’t let anyone control your life, as you are important.
Anyway, pray for me please as I have no idea what my creator has planned next. But my faith will get me through this step that I’ve taken, as big heart was telling me to call them!!